February 17, 2014

"Within Innocence"

A way to start the week in a world which no longer honors innocence! c

(sorry photos didn't transfer) 



  Ya Just Gotta  laugh.
   Time to smile...........
Photo of the new generation!
cid:1.2145186699@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com
cid:2.2145186699@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.comNUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'


cid:3.2145186699@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
It read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ...'




cid:4.2145186699@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.. During her struggle
 the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone..
'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now, she's hitting the bottle.


cid:5.2145186699@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'


cid:6.2145186699@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked,
'Are you a cop?  Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.
My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?'
'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'


cid:7.2145186699@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.
 As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.Finally he said, 'What'd he do?


cid:8.2145186699@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,
She merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'


cid:9.2145186700@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad
 donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'


cid:10.2145186700@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard
 the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:
'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.'
(I want this line used at my funeral!)


cid:11.2145186700@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

cid:12.2145186700@web125304.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

A Joy Filled Week to You And Yours.
 






“Within Innocence”

cji
2/17/14

To become as a small child
better even as little children
we’ve each been commanded
learning to be forgiving always
able to forget after doing so
to be virtuous – loving – pure
extending warmth to loved ones
giving hugs when most needed
embracing the elderly we meet
caring for the sick or orphan
having a gentle manner
(except when hungry –
or in need of a changing)
understanding of others
within innocence to live
cherishing the clean/good
we’ve each been commanded
to become as little children
even better the small child!


Copyright © 2014 – cji

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