A way to start the week in a
world which no longer honors innocence! c
(sorry photos didn't transfer)
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Ya
Just Gotta laugh.
Time to smile...........
Photo
of the new generation!
NUDITY
I was driving with my
three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the
convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I
heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
'Mom,
that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from
his mother.
It read, 'The opinions expressed by
this child are not necessarily those of his parents ...'
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone..
'Mommy
can't come to the phone to talk to you right now, she's hitting the
bottle.
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost
at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he
was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy
watched in amazement and then asked,
'What's
the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
POLICE # 1
While taking a
routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years
old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked,
'Are you
a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.
My mother
said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?'
'Yes,
that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her
foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9
partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back
there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
van.Finally he said, 'What'd he do?
ELDERLY
While working for an
organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old
daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by
the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking
in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,
She merely turned and whispered, 'The
tooth fairy will never believe this!'
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that
nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently,
his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling
that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a
hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The
minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of
what he thought his father always said:
'Glory be
unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.'
(I
want this line used at my funeral!)
SCHOOL
A little girl had
just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't
read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
BIBLE
A little boy opened
the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly,
something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been pressed in
between the pages.
'Mama,
look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
'I think
it's Adam's underwear!'
A Joy
Filled Week to You And Yours.
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“Within Innocence”
cji
2/17/14
To become as a small child
better even as little children
we’ve each been commanded
learning to be forgiving always
able to forget after doing so
to be virtuous – loving – pure
extending warmth to loved ones
giving hugs when most needed
embracing the elderly we meet
caring for the sick or orphan
having a gentle manner
(except when hungry –
or in need of a changing)
understanding of others
within innocence to live
cherishing the clean/good
we’ve each been commanded
to become as little children
even better the small child!
Copyright © 2014 – cji
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