The Father and the Family
A family begins when a young man and woman are drawn to one
another by an irresistible force of nature. They offer to one another that
which distinguishes him as male and her as female, and they want, above all
else, to find the one with whom they can completely express their love. They
want to have children—to be a family.
These compelling forces of nature should not be resisted, only
approached cautiously, protecting those life-generating powers until promises
have been made to one another, covenants with the Lord, and a legal ceremony
performed, witnessed, and recorded.
Then, and only then, as husband and wife, man and woman, may they
join together in that expression of love through which life is created.
The ultimate purpose of every teaching, every activity in the
Church is that parents and their children are happy at home, sealed in an
eternal marriage, and linked to their generations.
The ultimate purpose of the adversary, who has “great wrath,
because he knoweth that he hath but a short time,”1 is
to disrupt, disturb, and destroy the home and the family. Like a ship without a
rudder, without a compass, we drift from the family values which have anchored
us in the past. Now we are caught in a current so strong that unless we correct
our course, civilization as we know it will surely be wrecked to pieces.
Moral values are being neglected and prayer expelled from public
schools on the pretext that moral teaching belongs to religion. At the same
time, atheism, the secular religion, is admitted to class, and our youngsters
are proselyted to a conduct without morality.
World leaders and court judges agree that the family must endure
if we are to survive. At the same time, they use the words freedom and choice as
tools to pry apart the safeguards of the past and loosen up the laws on
marriage, abortion, and gender. In so doing, they promote the very things which
threaten the family.
None of this is new. Jacob, the Book of Mormon prophet, told the
people of Nephi:
“I … am weighed down with much more desire and anxiety for the
welfare of your souls than I have hitherto been. …
“It grieveth me that I must use so much boldness of speech
concerning you, before your wives and your children, many of whose feelings are
exceedingly tender and chaste and delicate before God.”2
This crisis of the family is no surprise to the Church. We have
certainly known what was coming. I know of no better testimony that we are led
by prophets than our preparation for this present emergency.
The scriptures speak of prophets as “watch[men] upon the tower”
who see “the enemy while he [is] yet afar off”3 and
who have “beheld also things which were not visible to the natural eye … [for]
a seer hath the Lord raised up unto his people.”4
Thirty-three years ago the Brethren warned us of the
disintegration of the family and told us to prepare. It was announced by the
First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles that the Church would be
restructured.
The weekly family home evening was introduced by the First
Presidency, who said that “the home [is] the basis of a righteous life and … no
other instrumentality can take its place nor fulfil its essential functions.”5
Parents are provided with excellent materials for teaching their
children, with a promise that the faithful will be blessed.6
While the doctrines and revealed organization remain unchanged,
all agencies of the Church have been reshaped in their relationship to one
another and to the home.
So sweeping were those changes that the entire curriculum of the
Church was overhauled—based on scriptures, with excellent manuals for each
course.
And years were spent preparing new editions of the Bible, the
Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price.
Except for correcting printing errors and adding three revelations to the
Doctrine and Covenants, the scriptural text remains unchanged.
Cross-references and other helps were added to make the
scriptures more accessible. In the Topical Guide, for instance, under the
heading of “Jesus Christ” there are eighteen pages—small print,
single-spaced—the most comprehensive compilation of scriptural references on
the Lord that has ever been compiled in the history of the world.
The new editions of the scriptures are complete in English and
Spanish, and work is now under way in dozens of languages.
We can only imagine where we would be if we were just now
reacting to this terrible redefinition of the family. But that is not the case.
We are not casting frantically about trying to decide what to do. We know what
to do and what to teach.
The family is very much alive and well in the Church. Hundreds
of thousands of happy families face life with an unwavering faith in the future.
The course we follow is not of our own making. The plan of
salvation, the great plan of happiness, was revealed to us, and the prophets
and Apostles continue to receive revelation as the Church and its members stand
in need of more.
We, like Jacob, must teach “according to the strict commands of
God,” “notwithstanding the greatness of the task.” Like Jacob, we also run the
risk of enlarging “the wounds of those who are already wounded, instead of
consoling and healing their wounds.”7
When we speak plainly of divorce, abuse, gender identity,
contraception, abortion, parental neglect, we are thought by some to be way out
of touch or to be uncaring. Some ask if we know how many we hurt when we speak
plainly. Do we know of marriages in trouble, of the many who remain single, of
single-parent families, of couples unable to have children, of parents with
wayward children, or of those confused about gender? Do we know? Do we care?
Those who ask have no idea how much we care; you know little of
the sleepless nights, of the endless hours of work, of prayer, of study, of
travel—all for the happiness and redemption of mankind.
Because we do know and
because we do care, we must teach the rules of
happiness without dilution, apology, or avoidance. That is our calling.
I once learned a valuable lesson from a mission Relief Society
president. In a conference, she announced some tightening up of procedures. A
sister stood up and defiantly said, “Those rules can’t apply to us! You don’t
understand us! We are an exception.”
That wonderful Relief Society president replied, “Dear sister,
we’d like not to take care of the exception first. We will establish the rule
first, and then we’ll see to the exception.” Many times I have borrowed from
her wisdom, grateful for what she taught me.
Now, following the example of Jacob, I speak to the men of the
Church. Most of you are worthy fathers and husbands who do what you should do.
But there are women whose hearts have been broken8 and
children who are neglected, even abused.
If we are to help them, we must begin with the men. The next
series of stake and regional conferences will be devoted to teaching the
doctrines and principles of responsible and worthy manhood.
Some of you had no worthy example to follow and now visit the
abuse or neglect of your own parents upon your wife and children.
Brethren, do you understand that we emphasize the teaching of
the scriptures because they are the constant? From them we learn the purposes
of life, the gifts of the Spirit. From them we learn about personal revelation,
how to discern good from evil, truth from error. The scriptures provide the
pattern and the basis for correct doctrine.
From doctrine, we learn principles of conduct, how to respond to
problems of everyday living, even to failures, for they, too, are provided for
in the doctrines.
If you understand the great plan of happiness and follow it,
what goes on in the world will not determine your happiness. You will be tried,
for that is part of the plan, but “thine afflictions shall be but a small
moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”9
Your responsibility as a father and a husband transcends any
other interest in life. It is unthinkable that a Latter-day Saint man would
cheat on his wife or abandon the children he has fathered, or neglect or abuse
them.
The Lord has “commanded you to bring up your children in light
and truth.”10
You are responsible, unless disabled, to provide temporal
support for your wife and children.11 You
are to devote, even sacrifice yourself to the bringing up of your children in
light and truth.12
That requires perfect moral fidelity to your wife, with no
reason ever for her to doubt your faithfulness.
Never should there be a domineering or unworthy behavior in the
tender, intimate relationship between husband and wife.13
Your wife is your partner in the leadership of the family and
should have full knowledge of and full participation in all decisions relating
to your home.
Lead your family to the Church, to the covenants and ordinances.
We are trying to reduce the length and number of meetings and activities
outside of the home.
I cannot express the depth of my devotion to my wife and
children, their companions, and their children. I have learned more by far from
them than they from me. That learning comes in ordinary experiences, the joy
and the pain of everyday life.
I learned from a little boy the identity and value of a human
soul. Some years ago, two of our little boys were wrestling on the rug. They
had reached that pitch where laughter turns to tears. I worked a foot gently
between them and lifted the older boy (then just four) to a sitting position on
the rug, saying, “Hey, there, you monkeys, you’d better settle down.”
He folded his little arms and looked at me with surprising
seriousness. His little boy feelings had been hurt, and he protested, “I not a
monkey, Daddy, I a person.”
I was overwhelmed with love for him. I realized he was a child
of God. How much I wanted him to be “a person”—one of eternal worth. From such
ordinary experiences, I have learned to understand doctrine. “Children,” truly,
“are an heritage of the Lord.”14
The family is safe within the Church. We are not in doubt as to
the course we must follow. It was given in the beginning, and guidance from on
high is renewed as need may be.
As we continue on our course, these things will follow as night
the day:
The distance between the Church and a world set on a course
which we cannot follow will steadily increase.
Some will fall away into apostasy, break their covenants, and
replace the plan of redemption with their own rules.
Across the world, those who now come by the tens of thousands
will inevitably come as a flood to where the family is safe. Here they will
worship the Father in the name of Christ, by the gift of the Holy Ghost, and know
that the gospel is the great plan of happiness, of redemption, of which I bear
witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
“I’m a
Person”
cji
2/18/18
What a
child reminds always
we each
are a child of God
within
the family to express
what no
longer outside home
in a
secular world forbidden
acknowledging
forgetfulness
while we
as his children
forget
never our heritage
bound
with Father and Son
eternal
and eternity forever!
Copyright © 2018 – cji
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