Neal A. Maxwell
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Meekness
is the real cure, for it does not merely mask selfishness but dissolves it!
In one degree or another we all struggle
with selfishness. Since it is so common, why worry about selfishness anyway?
Because selfishness is really self-destruction in slow motion. No wonder the
Prophet Joseph Smith urged, “Let every selfish feeling be not only buried, but
annihilated” (Teachings of the
Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 178).
Hence annihilation—not moderation—is the destination!
Surging selfishness, for example, has
shrunken some people into ciphers; they seek to erase their emptiness by
sensations. But in the arithmetic of appetite, anything multiplied by zero
still totals zero! Each spasm of selfishness narrows one’s universe that much
more by reducing his awareness of or concern with others. In spite of its
outward, worldly swagger, such indulgent individualism is actually provincial,
like goldfish in a bowl congratulating themselves on their self-sufficiency,
never mind the food pellets or changes of water.
Long ago it took a Copernicus to tell a
provincial world that this planet was not the center of the universe. Some
selfish moderns need a Copernican reminder that they are not the center of the
universe either!
The early and familiar forms of
selfishness are: building up self at the expense of others, claiming or puffing
credit, being glad when others go wrong, resenting the genuine successes of
others, preferring public vindication to private reconciliation, and taking “advantage
of one because of his words” (2 Ne. 28:8).
By focusing on himself, a selfish person
finds it easier to bear false witness, to steal, and covet, since nothing
should be denied him. No wonder it is so easy for governments to pander to the
appetites of the natural man, especially if the trains continue to run on time,
reassuring him all the while that his permissiveness is somehow permissible.
Selfishness likewise causes us to be discourteous,
disdainful, and self-centered while withholding from others needed goods,
praise, and recognition as we selfishly pass them by and notice them not
(see Morm. 8:39). Later on come rudeness,
brusqueness, and the further flexing of elbows.
In contrast to the path of selfishness,
there is no room for road rage on the straight and narrow way. There will be no
spouse or child abuse when there is unselfish love at home. Furthermore,
unselfishness is best grown in the family garden, and, likewise, diligently
performing seemingly ordinary Church duties can further help us to overcome
selfishness. The unselfish are also more free. As G. K. Chesterton said, if we
can be interested in others, even if they are not interested in us, we will
find ourselves “under a freer sky, [and] in a street full of splendid
strangers” (Orthodoxy [1959],
21).
In daily discipleship, the many
ways to express selfishness are matched by many ways to avoid it. Meekness is
the real cure, for it does not merely mask selfishness but dissolves it!
Smaller steps could include asking ourselves inwardly before undertaking an
important action, Whose needs am
I really trying to meet? Or in significant moments of self-expression,
we can first count to 10. Such thoughtful filtering can multiply our offering
by 10 as a mesh of reflective meekness filters out destructive and effusive
ego.
We can also meekly let our ideas
have a life of their own without oversponsoring them. Rather, let the Spirit
impel our worthy ideas.
Alas, gross, individual
selfishness is finally acculturated. Then societies can eventually become
without order, without mercy, without love, perverted, and past feeling
(see Moro. 9). Society thereby reflects a grim,
cumulative tally which signals a major cultural decline. This happened
anciently when a people actually became “weak, because of their transgression” (Hel. 4:26). Speaking behaviorally, when what
was once the lesser voice of the people becomes more dominant, then the
judgments of God and the consequences of foolish selfishness follow (see Mosiah 29:26–27).
Cultural decline is accelerated
when single-interest segments of society become indifferent to general values
once widely shared. This drift is facilitated by the indifferent or the
indulgent as society is led carefully down to hell (see 2 Ne. 28:21). Some may not join in this drift,
but instead they step aside, whereas once they might have constrained, as is
their representative right. Of such circumstances Yeats lamented, “The best
lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity” (W. B.
Yeats, “The Second Coming”).
Today, in place of some
traditionally shared values is a demanding conformity pushed, ironically, by
those who eventually will not tolerate those who once tolerated them. While
incremental iniquity may not cause a huge decline all at once, the same somber
direction is nevertheless continued, subtly and carefully, with no arousing
jolts or jars (see 2 Ne. 28:21).
Such are some of the proximate consequences of
selfishness, yet some of its consequences are ultimate—impacting us salvationally.
Selfishness is actually the
detonator of all the cardinal sins. It is the hammer for the breaking of the
Ten Commandments, whether by neglecting parents, the Sabbath, or by inducing
false witness, murder, and envy. No wonder the selfish individual is often
willing to break a covenant in order to fix an appetite. No wonder those who
will later comprise the telestial kingdom, after they have paid a price, were
once unrepentant adulterers, whoremongers, and those who both loved and made
lies.
Some of the selfish wrongly
believe that there is no divine law anyway, so there is no sin (see 2 Ne. 2:13). Situational ethics are thus made
to order for the selfish. So in the management of self, one can conquer by his
genius and strength, because there really is no crime whatsoever (see Alma 30:17).
Unsurprisingly therefore,
selfishness leads to terrible perceptual and behavioral blunders. For instance,
Cain, corrupted by his seeking of power, said after slaying Abel, “I am free” (Moses 5:33; see also Moses 6:15).
One of the worst consequences of
severe selfishness, therefore, is this profound loss of proportionality, like
straining at gnats while swallowing camels (see Matt. 23:24; see also JST in footnote 24a). Today there are, for example,
those who strain over various gnats but swallow the practice of partial-birth
abortions. Small wonder, therefore, that selfishness magnifies a mess of
pottage into a banquet and makes 30 pieces of silver look like a treasure
trove.
Developmentally, what transpires
is like what happened to an ancient group of children “who did grow up …, that
they became for themselves”—hardened and errant (3 Ne. 1:29; see also 3 Ne. 1:30). Devastating cultural change can
and does happen “in the space of not many years,” including replacing the
much-needed spirit of community with a diversified alliance of dalliance
(see Hel. 4:26).
Determined to walk in his own
way, the natural man often persists to the point where he is “past feeling,” having
been sedated by pleasing the carnal mind (see 1 Ne. 17:45; see also Eph. 4:19). Sadly, like the drug addict, he is
always in need of a fresh fix.
The severely selfish use others but do
not love them.
Let the Uriahs of the world beware! (see 2 Sam. 11:3–17). Centuries before Christ, the
prophet Jacob warned unchaste men, “Ye have broken the hearts of your tender
wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples
before them” (Jacob 2:35). When love waxes cold, let the
poor and the needy beware too, for they will be neglected, as happened in
ancient Sodom (see Matt. 24:12; see also Ezek. 16:49). Strange as it seems, when
severely selfish people are no longer little in their own sight, everybody else
shrinks! (see 1 Sam. 15:17).
Even the early droplets of
selfish decisions suggest a direction. Then the little inflecting rivulets
come, merging into small brooks and soon into larger streams; finally one is
swept along by a vast river which flows into the “gulf of misery and endless
wo” (Hel. 5:12).
We actually have an obligation to
notice genuine, telltale societal signs. It was Jesus who warned, “O ye
hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the
signs of the times?” suggesting the need for a different kind of weather forecasting
(Matt. 16:3).
For what happens in cultural
decline both leaders and followers are really accountable. Historically, of
course, it is easy to criticize bad leaders, but we should not give followers a
free pass. Otherwise, in their rationalization of their degeneration they may
say they were just following orders, while the leader was just ordering
followers! However, much more is required of followers in a democratic society
wherein individual character matters so much in both leaders and followers.
The prophet Mormon unselfishly
consented to lead a people who were in steep decline. He prayed for them, but
confided that his prayers were without faith because of the people’s wickedness
(see Morm. 3:12). Other times a visionary leader,
like Joseph in Egypt, lifts people out of the endangered routine they’re in by
preparing them for the specific challenges of the future (see Gen. 41:46–57). A few, like Lincoln, though in
a political role, provide spiritual leadership as well. Lincoln, by the way,
warned of how individuals of ambition and talents would continue to arise and
that such an individual “thirsts and burns for distinction, and if possible … will
have it, whether at the expense
of emancipating slaves or enslaving freemen” (cited in John Wesley
Hill, Abraham Lincoln—Man of God [1927],
74; emphasis in original).
Of unselfish George Washington it
has been written: “In all history few men who possessed unassailable power have
used that power so gently and self-effacingly for what their best instincts
told them was the welfare of their neighbors and all mankind” (James Thomas
Flexner, Washington: The
Indispensable Man [1984], xvi).
Power is most safe with those,
like Washington, who are not in love with it! A narcissist society, in which
each person is busy looking out for number one, can build neither brotherhood
nor community. Aren’t we glad in this Easter season and in all seasons that
Jesus did not selfishly look out for number one?
No wonder we have been told, “Thou
shalt have no other
gods before me,” and this includes self-worship! (Ex. 20:3; emphasis added). One way or another,
the grossly selfish will finally be shattered, whimpering, against the jagged,
concrete consequences of their selfishness.
In contrast, as I close, consider
unselfish Melissa Howes, whose comparatively young father died of cancer
several months ago. Just before, Melissa, who was then nine, was voice in
family prayer, pleading, “Heavenly Father, bless my daddy, and if you need him
more than us, you can have him. We want him, but Thy will be done. And please
help us not to be mad at you” (letter from Christie Howes, 25 Feb. 1998).
What spiritual submissiveness for
one so young! What an unselfish understanding of the plan of salvation! May
unselfish submissiveness be our path too, in the holy name of Jesus Christ,
amen!
“Selfishly or
Selflessness”
cji
3/24/19
Bricks made of straw
slavery involved
so long ago
the earth crying
while the selfish
demanded all in awe
then yet today
mush made of brains
once vibrant in youth
now only wasted
music, games, hatred
political correctness
truth passed over
selfishly enriching
while destroying
selflessness in excuse
at such continued
abuse!
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