Ministering June 2018 -

From an address given to LDS Family Services employees in June 2017. Elder Holland adapted this version for a broader audience.

We may not be able to alter the journey, but we can make sure no one walks it alone. Surely that is what it means to bear one another’s burdens.

Photograph from Getty Images

The Apostle Peter wrote that disciples of Jesus Christ are to have “compassion one of another” (1 Peter 3:8). Many of you fulfill that commandment honorably and admirably every day of your lives. Certainly, the need for compassion is as great today as it ever has been. Current data suggests that approximately one in five adults in the United States (43.8 million people) experiences mental illness every year.¹ Pornography abounds, with one website receiving over 23 billion visits in 2016 alone.²“Two-parent households are on [a precipitous] decline in the United States as divorce, … cohabitation, [and out-of-wedlock births] are on the rise. … Today fully four-in-ten births occur to women who are single or living with a non-marital partner.”³

To be called the Savior’s people and to stand in His Church, we must be “willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; yea, and [be] willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things” (Mosiah 18:8–9).

For me, bearing another’s burden is a simple but powerful definition of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. When we seek to lift the burden of another, we are “saviours … on mount Zion” (Obadiah 1:21). We are symbolically aligning ourselves with the Redeemer of the world and His Atonement. We are “bind[ing] up the brokenhearted, … proclaim[ing] liberty to the captives, and … opening … the prison to them that are bound” (Isaiah 61:1).

Divine Empathy

Let’s stay with this matter of Christ’s Atonement for a moment. If I understand the doctrine properly, in the experience of the Atonement, Jesus Christ vicariously experienced—and bore the burden of—the sins and sorrows and troubles and tears of all mankind, from Adam and Eve to the end of the world. In this, He Himself did not actually sin, but He felt the pain and consequence of those who did. He did not personally experience a broken marriage, but He felt the pain and consequence of those who do. He did not personally experience rape or schizophrenia or cancer or the loss of a child, but He felt the pain and consequence of those who do, and so on and on through the litany of life’s burdens and broken hearts.

That view of how the Atonement works suggests the one true divine example of empathy the world has ever known. Obviously, no word does justice to the universe’s most consequential act, but today I don’t have a better substitute, so I will use it.

Empathy is defined as “the action of understanding … and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present.”⁴ As already noted, that is actually a reasonably good statement of the atoning process, especially if we add “future” to “past” and “present.”

We all know that too many of God’s children do suffer silently and alone. Take, for example, a young man who wrote me expressing his testimony in a remarkably articulate letter but then adding that his heart breaks because he does not see any fulfillment or future joy for him as a person with same-sex attraction:

“I face a lifetime of lonely nights and dreary mornings. I attend my YSA ward faithfully and each week leave church knowing that I can never really fit in. I will never teach my son to ride a bike. I will never feel my baby girl hold my finger as she learns to walk. I will never have grandchildren.

“I will come home to an empty house, day after day, month after month, decade after decade, anchored only by my hope in Christ. Sometimes I wonder why He would do this to me and ask me to make such an impossible sacrifice. I cry at night when nobody can see. I have not told anybody, not even my parents. They and my friends … would reject me if they knew, just as they all have rejected those who have walked this path in front of me. I will live life at the margins. I have the option of either being harassed and avoided for being single, or pitied and ignored for telling the reason. Life looms long before me. Is there no balm in Gilead?”⁵

With so much pain and despondency, so much hopelessness, one thing we certainly ought to try to give such a person is the reassurance that he is not alone. We should be adamant in stressing that God is with him, angels are with him, and we are with him.

Empathy. Sounds pretty inadequate, but it is a place to start. We may not be able to alter the journey, but we can make sure no one walks it alone. Surely that is what it means to bear one another’s burdens—they areburdens. And who knows when or if they will be lifted in mortality? But we can walk together and share the load. We can lift our brothers and sisters as Jesus Christ lifted us (see Alma 7:11–13).

And through all of this, we certainly gain new and brighter appreciation for what the Savior ultimately does for us. As I once said:

“In striving for some peace and understanding in these difficult matters, it is crucial to remember that we are living—and chose to live—in a fallen world where for divine purposes our pursuit of godliness will be tested and tried again and again. Of greatest assurance in God’s plan is that a Savior was promised, a Redeemer, who through our faith in Him would lift us triumphantly over those tests and trials, even though the cost to do so would be unfathomable for both the Father who sent Him and the Son who came. It is only an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own lesser suffering first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive.”⁶

We learn quickly that our best and most selfless services are often not adequate to comfort or encourage in the way people need. Or if we succeed once, we often can’t seem to repeat it. Nor are we superheroes at preventing regression in those we care about. All this is why we must ultimately turn to Jesus Christ and rely on Him (see 2 Nephi 9:21).

Often enough we can’t help—or at least can’t sustain our help or can’t repeat it when we do sometimes succeed. But Christ can help. God the Father can help. The Holy Ghost can help, and we need to keep trying to be Their agents, helping when and where we can.

Refortify Yourself

For those of you who earnestly seek to bear another’s burdens, it is important that you refortify yourself and build yourself back up when others expect so much of you and indeed take so much out of you. No one is so strong that they do not ever feel fatigued or frustrated or recognize the need to care for themselves. Jesus certainly experienced that fatigue, felt the drain on His strength. He gave and gave, but there was a cost attached to that, and He felt the effects of so many relying on Him. When the woman with an issue of blood touched Him in the crowd, He healed her, but He also noted “that virtue had gone out of him” (see Mark 5:25–34).

I have always been amazed that He could sleep through a storm on the Sea of Galilee so serious and severe that His experienced fishermen disciples thought the ship was going down. How tired is that? How many sermons can you give and blessings can you administer without being absolutely exhausted? The caregivers have to have care too. You have to have fuel in the tank before you can give it to others.

Rosalynn Carter, board president of the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving, once said, “There are only four kinds of people in this world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”⁷

Obviously, “the relationship between a caregiver and care receiver is a [serious one, even a] sacred one.”⁸ However, as we experience the challenge of bearing one another’s burdens, we can remember that none of us are immune from the impact of empathizing with the pain and suffering of someone about whom we care.

Seek Balance

It is important to find ways to balance your caregiving role with other aspects of your life—including work, family, relationships, and activities you enjoy. In a general conference talk on this subject, I tried to “pay tribute to all of you, to all who do so much and care so deeply and labor with ‘the intent to do good.’ So many are so generous. I know that some of you [may struggle emotionally or financially] in your own lives and still you find something to share [with others]. As King Benjamin cautioned his people, it is not intended that we run faster than we have strength and all things should be done in order [see Mosiah 4:27].”⁹ But despite that, I know that many of you run very fast and that your energy and emotional supply sometimes registers close to empty.

When the problems seem too large, remember these lines from an essay by David Batty:

“Hope is not a feeling—it’s not a tidal wave of joy in the middle of a problem.

“… Hope is not the magic wand that makes the problem disappear. Hope is the lifeline that can keep you from being overwhelmed by the storms in your life.

“When you place your hope in Jesus, you place your confidence in His promises that He will never leave you or forsake you—that He will do what is best for you. Even though you may be in the middle of a huge problem, hope enables you to be at peace, knowing that Jesus is with you every step of the way.”¹⁰

I love how Paul dealt with this struggle and feeling of inadequacy. In the scriptures, the Lord explained that His grace was sufficient for Paul and that, in fact, His strength was actually “made perfect in weakness.” Then Paul wrote, “Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).¹¹

Trust the Father and the Son

We must trust that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ truly care about us and what we are doing, that They want us to be made “perfect in weakness”—just what you want for those for whom you care.

I bear witness that God is aware of our burdens and will strengthen us to strengthen others. This does not mean our problems will always disappear or the world will suddenly be at peace. But neither do your prayers fall on deaf ears. And neither do the prayers of those you care for—the widowed, the divorced, the lonely, the overwhelmed, the addicted, the ill, the hopeless—everyone.¹²

Brothers and sisters, the service we provide when we bear another’s burdens is crucially important—literally the work of the Master. The number of letters received in my office underscores how much help is needed. That help is manna from heaven to those who struggle.

I said once: “When we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind.”¹³

To me, when you strive to lighten another’s burdens, you are truly angels of mercy in the most literal sense. May you receive back a hundredfold all that you try to give.

“Following the Footprints”

cji

6/1/18

Footprints left to lead/follow

some left for us to walk

ours left another as well

paths always to be found

looking to the light always

choosing the right always

seeking our life to be bound

feeling the spirit to swell

listening to the winds talk

all righteousness to allow!

Copyright © 2018 – cji

"From the Past" (old essay)

“From the Past”

cji

6/1/18

Many times a reply appears

adding to the thoughts sent

therefore to share with all

blessings to teach truth

small prices to be paid

wanting to be touched

to feel as the child again

from the past to be found

when seeking replies often

touching the subject twice!

Copyright © 2018 – cji

I often wonder how so many people cannot grasp that their whole existence in the eternities

is for not if they don’t put their focus on what they need to do to be worthy of being with

Heavenly Father when they leave this life.  They just don’t care because they don’t believe

that what they do or accomplish here has a direct effect on their life after they leave this

one.  Eat, drink and be merry seems to be their sole desire not realizing or caring that there

is so much more to be had for the small price of following Christ’s teachings. 

How do we help them to change their lives if they have no desire to do so?  Some can and

will be touched by the gospel, but so many will never give up those things that will keep

them in the power of Satan.  He is their master, and they don’t even realize that they are

in his debt and that debt must be paid.  Christ’s atonement is there, but they must be willing

to ASK for it and therein lies the rub.

From: Chuck Ingerson

Sent: Sunday, December 29, 2013 9:38 PM

To: Chuck Ingerson

Subject: 20131230 one goal (short essay on goal setting)

“One Goal”  c/ork cji 12/30/13

Every single person who sets goals should have just one goal! This goal is predicated upon all others goals one might set in their life. It would be my expectation that one might meaningfully have thousands of goals. These could be found as either tangible or intangible goals. They should be in the six main areas of their life; family, social, physical, mental, financial and moral/ethical. Thus with goals in each of the six areas however one were to define them would be a mixture of both tangible and intangible. Secondary to this these goals should have a blend of short term, medium term and long term durations. Short term could be as short as one or two hours to up to three to four weeks. While medium term goals are usually from one month to one year. Long term goals could be from one year to any number of years especially where intangible goals are concerned.

Seems like a long way from just one single goal but bear with me a bit longer. Goals to be efficient need to be written and specific (see Paul J. Meyers) and be broken down in generally the following way. The initial part of a goal is for it to be written clearly and understandably so that one can see exactly what it is that they want to achieve. Part of the written clarification is whether the goal is tangible or intangible. Next to place it in a specific area of your life. Some may overlap – i.e. family and social, moral/ethical and financial – but one should pick the area best identified with the goal. Then one sets a date for the achievement of this particular goal. This is the date when you want to achieve the goal – it could be as short as a couple of weeks or many months or even years. (Note: for very short term goals less than a couple days – simply identifying it and listed it is usually enough.)

For every goal one has they follow the above pattern – until in each area of one’s life they’ve as many as ten or more – with some being tangible and intangible. Next when this initial stage is done – one then has to prioritize the goals they taken the time to write up for themselves. (Note: remembering even the list we make for daily things we want/need to do – we should prioritize them – this is so we get the most important done first – the less important may either wait till tomorrow or even another week.)

Once we’ve prioritized our goals we go to the next step of the process and this is to list all of the obstacles which stand between us and the achievement of each individual goal. Sometimes some are stymied by what this obstacles might be – i.e. sailing around the world would be easy – while baking a twenty tier cake might be more difficult. This is where I invoke the Funny Girl song, “Don’t Rain on my Parade” and allow some others who are usually negative what it is I’m trying to accomplish and they’ll invariably rain on my parade by telling me all the reasons I cannot accomplish this goal. Then I write down what they’re saying and see what it is I’ve missed.

Now that the obstacles are written down – I need to find the solutions to each obstacle! Again the idea of eating the elephant one bite at a time works very well in effective goal setting. Once the solutions are written down – I ask whether this is still a worthwhile goal for me at this time – if the answer is yes – I validate the date of accomplishment and make any adjustments which might be needful. Then comes the fun part of writing out each goal and that is to get photos, make drawings, cut out pictures so that I can see myself accomplishing the goal(s). With this I then write affirmations to go along with the pictures and apply the act as if principle. 

This may seem like a lot of work for one or even a thousand goals – however, one will learn that some need all of these step while others do not – especially the shorter range goals after one gets used to setting more than just one or two goals in their lives. In addition having all of this written down allows you to keep track of where you are in your progress – let’s say an example might be to read 20 books – 15 non-fiction and 5 fiction over the next six months. This would mean reading just over three book a month – and you just check them off as you read them. Keeping score is very important for then you know where you are and not just where you think you are.

Okay back to the one goal which determines all other goals! Throughout the Scriptures Heavenly Father and the Son (our Lord and Savior) are constantly referring to each of us with our families coming back to live with them (if you take the Scriptures literally and haven’t been led astray that only 5% is really factual the rest can summarized in Greek Philosophy). If this is the case – which I not only believe but know to be true – then our only real goal in mortality is to return to our Heavenly Father and His Only Begotten Son with our family intact (both our progenitors and our posterity). I reference 1 Peter 3:7 where it says, Husbands and wives are heirs together forever! Or one can review the many Scriptures where the Son talks of many mansions – and there are many more – which point unerringly to our having the right if we’re worthy to become like the Father and the Son and inherit eternal life in the Celestial Kingdom with them. Paul talks of this often and well as many of the Prophets.

Thus we should each have ‘one goal’ i.e. “At the end of my mortal probation I will return to my Heavenly Father and His Only Begotten Son our Lord and Master Jesus Christ – with my extended family in the Celestial Kingdom to dwell with them for time and all eternity as an eternal family.” This is a tangible goal the Scripture tells us it is so – and we know when it will occur at the end of our mortal probation. We know the obstacles; i.e. to be found fully obedient to all of the Commandments, Statutes and Laws as set forth by the Father, the Son and their representatives here on this earth known as Prophets and Apostles (called by them only). We know the solutions to the obstacles begin and end with learning what all of the Commandments, Statutes and Laws are that were to be obedient in full with in our lives. Pictures, photos, drawings can all be made representing this return and the affirmation’s can easily be stated.

Why this one goal? This one goal is the key to the rest of our mortal lives – in that – every other goal we’ll set will either take us closer or further away from the accomplishment of this on single goal. Thus as we set the daily, monthly, yearly goals in our life the one paramount question will always be – will this bring me closer to the obedience needed or further away. We then have a simple decision tree whereby we can reject some goals out of hand – while pursuing those which bring us closer.

Dating, what to do or not do – all become quite clear – our mode of dress – what music we listen to – what movies we watch – how we obey in keeping the Sabbath Day holy – all these areas of our lives become much more simplified based on what importance we place on what the Father, the Son and the Prophets/Apostles have taught us throughout time and continue to do so today. 

Hopefully this helps one and all as we prepare for another very difficult year – and our planning and modifications we each need to make in our lives as we relate to the worldly around us.

In the name of Jesus Christ – amen  - c/ork

“One Goal”

cji

12/30/13

Perhaps just a myth

these lives just time

decaying upon death

without value or love

empty as some teach

without body or parts

without emotion to feel

in total rejections to be

or just perhaps this:

Meaning and loving

Our Father preparing

places for each of us

families to be eternal

as Prophets teach

worthiness/obedience

self-worth and value

moral and virtuous

eternal and forever

with accomplishing

just one goal only

to return to Father!

Copyright © 2013 – cji

'Chuck' Charles J. Ingerson, CPCM, Fellow (NCMA)

http://www.lds.org/liahona/2012/04/he-is-risen-a-prophets-testimony?lang=eng

http://whispersofthespirit.yuku.com/topic/10118

(Do We Want to Know?)

“Evil’s Way is to ignore truth in any form as if it did not exist – was never presented to them – and thus just as the repeated lie becomes truth – the unrepeated truth becomes a lie!” cji 1/23/13

Winston Churchill wrote that “Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy. Its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.”

http://www.jesuschrist.lds.org/SonOfGod/eng/
http://dailypoems1.blogspot.com/ (to access poems)
http://cjames127.blogspot.com/ (to access essays)

http://www.angelfire.com/ga/cjiwarpoetry/
http://iwvpa.net/ingersoncj/index.php

http://www.angelfire.com/ga/chuckingersonpoems/poetrylist.html

http://whispersofthespirit.yuku.com/

"Our Souls"

“Our Souls”

cji

5/31/18

What price to be paid

one only has one soul

covenanted to return

too many listen to bids

coming from all quarters

from pulpits to satan

lawyers, judges, trash

movie makers as well

flesh buyers bidding too

our souls covenanted

too many selling theirs

never returning to Father

listening to rhetoric

of a world hating truth

fighting for your soul

what price to be paid!

Copyright © 2018 – cji

"Hineni"

“Hineni”

cji

5/30/18

Too many waiting alone

allowing doing nothing

living amid their sorrows

thinking they’re alone

none other to suffer like

thus calling to the Lord

‘hineni’ here am I

standing still all alone

while showing no works

waiting for their safety

saying ‘I’m saved’ all

ignoring the Scriptures

in their worlds alone!

Copyright © 2018 – cji

"Uncommon"

“Uncommon”

cji

5/29/18

Uncommon leadership

needed more than ever

righting the state’s ship

common sense not clever;

Steering to God’s law

forsaking men/women

folly and evil call

allowing saying ‘amen’!

Copyright © 2018 – cji

"Honoring"

“Honoring”

cji

5/28/18

Simple tributes felt

honoring today

on my knees knelt

in humility to pray;

Honoring those fallen

holding the flag high

with tears swollen

widows/families cry;

Just this day only

yet everyday known

where many lonely

honoring shown!

Copyright © 2018 – cji

"Eternal Marriage" (an short essay)

We live in a Godless society could mean many things – when churches teach Plato and rhetorical philosophy – rather than the Scriptures allowing their memberships to proclaim the love of God and his only begotten Jesus the Christ (who they proclaim a 3 in 1 and 1 in 3 – without body parts or passions) and where none but their followers will be able to be saved (which they cannot explain fully). None of which can be found in the Scriptures. Then they teach when marriage ends with death – they’re not reading the same Bible I’ve read since the age of 11. Plato proclaimed the current creeds of almost all of the world churches – at the poet Channing Pollock wrote in 1937 – about his Aunt Jane, Heaven Doesn’t Matter:  Shall we like her, or ourselves, as disembodied spirits? I’ve never thought of myself as a materialist, but the things I’ve enjoyed all seem to have required body and mind. . . .
In the resurrection, there is to be no marriage nor giving in marriage—and that’s a big drawback, too. Personally, I can’t conceive a heaven without it. My own ego is so inextricably blended with that of my wife, and my own happiness has been so long part of hers. Nor would it help much to be vaguely associated with her in spirit. Married life is made up of so many physical and mental contacts, of so many shared fears and hopes, sorrows and joys, pains and comforting’s that both of us, and millions of other wives and husbands, couldn’t help missing terribly in any conceivable resort of souls. [Reader’s Digest, 30 (January 1937):23]

It would seem to me anyone who teaches this forgot about God and the Plan of Salvation. Robert Burns wrote about the same thing – as have many others – but the churches go on teaching ‘til death do us part’ or hemming and hawing similar ideas. 

Throughout my life after reading the Bible I was convinced that marriage was for time and all eternity – and I could imagine never being without Joyce and my extended family. It would more than any hell I could imagine. Who can imagine being without their lifelong companion? Being without their progenitors – their children and grandchildren – it makes no sense! But that is what is taught and one wonders who so few understand the truth between what they’re taught in schools or churches and what they can read in the Scriptures.

But I’ve written over and over – documented and provided the invitation to all – and again so few take the time.

I’m going to offer a challenge to all – take the time to read one page from Isaiah/James/Revelations and one page from the Book of Mormon. Or better one chapter from each – maybe twenty (20) minutes of your time. And see what common sense says to you.

Chuck

“Eternal Marriage”

cji

5/28/18

What is this life about

eternal families all

the Scriptures replete

then why the godless

endlessly preach

otherwise teach

so much forever less

the Scriptures delete

giving satan’s call

to all the world shout!

Copyright © 2018 – cji

"Super Glue"

“Super Glue”

cji

5/27/18

Each Sunday some find

duct tape or a band aid

only for time to remind

then too soon to fade;

Others seek eternity

lasting and secure

nothing of taciturnity

but lasting and pure;

Using super glue today

holding and keeping sure

asking Father with pray

but lasting and pure!

Copyright © 2018 – cji